it sucks because i have genuinely lost faith in people. i’m unable to trust the words that people say. unable to really believe the kind and loving things people say to me. how many times has a person built me up so tall and then without any reason or warning just let me crash and burn. i’m tired of the ongoing cycle. i get hurt and learn my lesson not to get attached, then meet someone new, get attached, get screwed over, and it just continues on and on. i’m starting to feel like all people are the same. they like you when its convenient and easy but no one really wants to stick by my side. and that hurts. because i see all these other people who are in love and so close and have been together so long and i’m really not even envious of the love. not really. i’m more envious that they are intriguing and capturing enough to make someone stay. to have someone stick by their side and say, i don’t care what we go through, you’re worth it. and i know that worth isn’t based off of others and that being an individual is a wonderful thing but i can’t help but feel that if no one wants to stick by my side and it continues to happen over and over again that i really am just not worth it. i’m not worth the fight, i’m not worth the effort. idk. it just sucks. i’m unable to believe that someone could really love me and care for me. and even if someone tried to, i’m not sure i would even know how to handle it.